Presence: you’re either fully here or not at all
Without presence of the participants - in the broadest sense of the word - a virtual session is doomed to fail. A participant is present when they are there, on time, visible, audible and paying attention. In order to ensure this is the case I always start the session with some virtual hygiene. I ask them to do three things:
During the session:
As you already know from me, I rarely ask participants to do something without telling them WHY I am making that request. I invite you to create your own narrative around this, but as an inspiration, this is what I tend to say.
As you all know from the many virtual meetings you have had in your life, many of them can be tedious, draining and boring. That is not what I intend for this session. I’m fairly certain we can create a session that is useful, engaging and fun. For this, I need your help. I will ask you to do three things.
First, contrary to what you’re used to in virtual meetings, I ask you to UNMUTE. The mute button serves as an invisible barrier to communication. I promise you that our levels of interaction will go way up when everyone complies. Obviously, if you have someone drilling a hole in the wall next to you, feel free to mute for a moment. Other than that: Mute off.
[What I’m not telling them, but will tell you: Unmuting also prevents participants from speaking to others, which keeps the focus on your session.]
Second, I invite you to have your camera ON throughout. A black square where your face should be is like a black hole of energy. That’s not what we want. Obviously if you’re uncomfortable to show your surroundings feel free to blur or choose a nice background for yourself.
[A note to you: Someone having their camera off is the virtual equivalent of someone sitting with their back to the group. You wouldn’t accept that in your F2F sessions, so don’t accept it in a virtual one. I also ask participants with multiple screens to set up in such a way that they are facing the camera. Without a clear visual of participants' faces you are lacking your most important tool for creating interaction: participants’ facial expressions. ]
Finally, I invite you to be fully present. Enjoy the luxury of doing just one thing at a time. Close your other windows. Turn off your notifications. This is your time for self-improvement, be here for it. Obviously, sometimes the nature of your job does not allow you to switch off like this. There might be something that requires your attention. I get that. If this is the case for you, feel free to give me a heads-up, leave our training session for a moment to attend to your business and rejoin our session when you’re finished.
[Note to you: By asking them to leave the session when they need to do something else, rather than just muting/turning the camera off, you set a higher standard for distractions. In my experience you are eliminating over 50% of possible distractions.]
In order for this approach to work, it is important to show that you are serious about it. Apart from mentioning it in the beginning, you want to gently remind and/or confront anyone who doesn’t comply. Don’t let it slide because if you don’t address it, more will follow. Addressing it can range from asking everyone to unmute again as they come back from a break-out room to inquiring what’s going on with someone who is clearly doing something else. Enforcing your virtual hygiene is an advanced art: you want to show that these are non-negotiables for you, whilst being very pleasant about it. It takes some practice, but you’ll get there.
In very rare instances you will encounter a group that does not comply, despite your best efforts. How do you deal with that? Well, I have to admit I find that situation particularly tricky. The solution I found is not particularly elegant, but it does allow me to keep my integrity as a trainer. This is what I do.
I accept that this particular session will not meet my standard for quality and it is not on me.
After the session I feed back to the client that I cannot deliver quality sessions this way and ask them to take this up with the participants.
If nothing changes: I decline further sessions. I don’t want to tarnish the reputation of virtual sessions even further by contributing to lame, dull and uninspiring sessions.
This is an excerpt from my upcoming book on how to deliver awesome trainings. It comes from the chapter Introducing, Guiding and Debriefing Exercises. This theory is also covered in my Train-the-Trainer programme: Inspire to Develop.
